Richie Incognito, maybe incognito of being bullied as a kid and never learning how to cope with childhood emotional distress

The word incognito means having one’s true identity concealed. New York Times article, “Prized for His Aggression, Incognito Struggled to Stay in Bounds,” described Richie Incognito’s childhood experience as “…the teasing he endured as a kid.” It seems that Richie was bullied for being overweight and being more sensitive than other boys. His father pushing Richie to retaliate by causing physical harm to other kids may have not been a good parental advice.  If Richie’s true innate identity is one of being sensitive to others, a powerful quality to have, his father’s advice to act in violence may have gone against Richie’s good nature. That is, concealing and preventing Richie from being who he may be, a kind person. Yet, there is never an excuse for a professional athletic to use derogatory terms against other players, or anyone for that matter.

Exceptional professional football players like Michael Oher, displayed such acts of integrity by being assertive as portrayed in the movie “The Blind Side.” Michael Oher applies assertiveness skills on how to use aggression effectively to win games and gain the respect from teammates and staff.  Aggression alone refers to attacking the integrity and personhood of another. When this occurs, this type of aggression stems from unresolved childhood pitfalls. The opposite of aggression is passiveness. Passive behavior is when one lacks the ability to express one’s needs effectively, then redirects unfulfilled dreams to self destructive behaviors such as abusing alcohol or unconsciously sabotaging ones career. However, using Assertiveness skills helps meet your needs and makes your dreams come true without attacking the rights of others.

It seems that Richie, as a kid was not taught how to use assertiveness skills, which may have affected his self-esteem and self-image. Maybe if he was shown to be assertive, Richie may have been able to unite his sensitive personality trait with his love for football, a game that requires effective and productive aggression to “Stay in Bounds.”

How to gain assertiveness skills? Personal Revolution Therapy (PRT) teaches one to be assertive by applying PRT’s four simple mental techniques. Not only will PRT help in learning assertiveness skills but will help resolve those unresolved childhood emotional pitfalls.

Personal Revolution Therapy helps parents on how to talk to their kids about Miley Cyrus’s inappropriate performance at the MTV VMAs.

BBC News said that the Parent Television Council (PTC) issued a complaint over Miley Cyrus’s sexually provocative performance at the MTV VMAs. This incident was not the first time that a celebrity’s performance exhibited inappropriate sexual innuendos to a program that is viewed by many minors, and it will not be the last. Children and adolescents whose parents do not provide their kids with proper guidance on how to have a healthy understanding about sex are influenced to act impulsively sexually by what they see in the media. Social media as a whole does not care about the ethics or morals of how adolescents should behave sexually. Most social media only care about ratings and profits. If PTC is doing its part to culturally shape public perception which in turn influences political action, parents must do their part to  educate their children about sex and help them express to their own sexuality with self-respect and integrity. The problem arises is that most parent do not know how to talk to their children/adolescents about sex.

Personal Revolution Therapy provide parents with step by step guidance on how to talk to their kids about sex. First, before diving into talking to your kid about sex, parents must set a platform before discussing to topic of sex. What kind of platform? A platform that clearly states to your child that by talking about sex that they will not get them into trouble. There exceptions to the rule however and they should be stated up front. Tell your child that, if they hear something that could directly cause harm to them, same as using drugs, that it is the role of the parent to take proper action to protect them immediately.

Second, when talking to kids about sex, parents need to do more listening than talking. When we lecture children about sex, they usually tune out. The goal is to have an open discussion about sex. How does a parent start listening? A parent starts listening by posing non-judgmental questions. For example, “What does sex mean to you?” By posing open ended and non-judgmental questions, kids are more likely to talk more. When kids began sharing about their views about sex, parents can take note on how that child perceives sex. Most kids have inmate healthy boundaries. Parents just need to reassure them that is ok to implement them without peer pressure or media influence.

The third goal is to help your children  think for themselves. When kids become self-thinkers they tend to act more responsible. By helping your child see for themselves that certain acts viewed on TV or see something in their peers that are unhealthy, their own instincts tell them that it just doesn’t feel right, your child the can make their decision to avoid those sexual acts, therefore, building healthy views about sex that can later be transcended in entering into a healthy intimate relationship as adults.

Combating Misogyny

A photo taken of a man that appears to be humping the new statue of a prepubertal little girl is very disturbing. The little girl is intended to show women’s empowerment in the financial sector.

Unfortunately, misogyny is still alive and well in the corporate world. Unequal pay and an increase of sexual harassment seems by many corporate men just to be a nuisance and unimportant. Like many dysfunctional families where domestic violence occurs, if the rooted “disease” has been incorporated deep into the identity of that dysfunctional family, drastic changes must happen in order to break the vicious cycle of misogyny.

Please help eradicate misogyny in the corporate world.

Dr. James Triana